It was anything but easy, but we learned an important lesson: The straight spouse understandably becomes angry at the gay spouse for not being able or willing to go back into the closet. Kaye has developed the Official Gay Husband Checklist to help women know if their husbands are gay. Here both come to the limits of what's possible. In both Sydney and Boston, the average age of men who come to group meetings has been falling. But both Jim and Steven say that men who end up identifying as bisexual in the long-term are in the minority — most husbands in their groups eventually come to realise they are predominantly attracted to men.
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When came to an end, I was ready to focus on me— was going to be my year. Judging by the emails, phone calls and website hits he receives, he estimates that there are thousands more Australians in similar situations. Around the world, many gay men are married to women. If a gay spouse were only sexually and not romantically attracted to men, they might have a chance at staying with their straight. Sign up for our free bi-monthly newsletter updates:. Jim had a secret from his wife.